Legends of the Halcyon Era: Nurses, Nuts, and A Girl Named Radi

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Legends of the Halcyon Era

Nurses, Nuts, and A Girl Named Radi

by

David Oxford/LBD “Nytetrayn”

*****

“So there we were, in the middle of the most godforsaken ruin you could ever imagine: ‘The Devil’s Yard’. A total dump of a wasteland. Everything in the surrounding area was either dead or mutated, and against all saner logic, we pressed on in the hopes of discovering the undiscovered.”

“And hoo-boy, lemme tell ya’ – we discovered some stuff down there alright! You name it, we saw it: Zombies, lizard people, a giant whale-slug-thing that knew the history of everything, copious amounts of things with tentacles, freakin’ Cthulhu himself… oh, and these hands that just kept grabbing different members of our party and taking them away somewhere.”

“But it turns out, it was all basically this fever dream by a guy who called himself ‘Sherman East,’ an Ancient who managed to tap into the power of something called ‘Cyberspace’ to make all this stuff we had to face. He wanted to take over the world, but we put a stop to him real good, once I got to the point–”

“Nyte, focus,” Janine said.

“Oh, right,” Nyte said. “So anyway, we’ve been beaten, battered, bruised, concussed, and I think Janine here had the skin ripped off her arm. Is there a doctor in the house?”

Nurse Georgette, assuming she was wearing the correct name tag, seemed altogether unflinching and unmoved by the Digger’s story as the cigarette hung from the side of her mouth as she took in the sight before her: an Air Pirate with ridiculous hair and Pince-nez glasses, a guy who looked like he enjoyed dressing up as his own Star Wars fan character holding his head, a bronze bombshell of a woman with seafoam-colored hair who was nursing her arm and leaning on him for support, and the blonde kid in the Outback hat telling tall tales, all of whom looked like they had seen better days.

“Names?” she asked flatly, the same way she’d asked countless patients countless times before.

“Oh! Sure, right here,” Nyte said, providing everyone’s details.

Georgette took their paperwork and went off to do some administrative stuff with it.

“Place has gone downhill since I was last here,” Fenix remarked. When Nyte gave him a look that said “seriously?”, he quickly added, “Relax, this is the place that fitted me with my mechanical arm.”

Nyte considered this for a moment. “I guess that could be taken as a good thing…”

Nurse Georgette soon returned. “Take a number,” she told the group.

Nytetrayn took a number from the ticket dispenser. “69,” he read aloud. “Nice.” He then handed the ticket to Janine, followed by one for Fenix, another for Xenos, and finally one for himself.

The nurse cleared her throat. “Number 90? Is there a number 90 here? Last call for number 90…”

Nyte looked at his number again, and groaned. “Oh, this could be a LONG wait…”

Fenix spoke up as the nurse prepared to call for the next number. “Um… the numbers only go up to 72…”

“Huh?” she said, then looked at her clipboard. “Oh! It was upside down! Number 06? Is there a number 06…?”

Nyte’s eyes bulged. “Yes… a long wait indeed.” Turning to Fenix, he said, “Your cred is taking a nosedive this week, you know that?”

After an hour of the group trying to make the best of the awkward chairs in the otherwise empty waiting room, Nurse Georgette called out, “…Number 69?” and punctuated it with a girlish giggle.

“Um, yes… that would be me,” said Janine. The others were too worn out to join in the giggling.

“Alright,” Georgette said, jotting something down on her clipboard. “Are you all together?”

“Yeah,” Nyte said, blinking a few times as he woke up. “You could say that.”

“Good! Come this way,” she said, leading them down the hall and into one of the rooms. Soon, one of the doctors showed up to greet them.

“Hello, my name is Doctor Kohn, but most of my friends call me ‘KOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHNNN!!!’”

Janine snortled at that. The others were less amused.

“Wow, tough crowd,” the doctor said. “Now, if I can just have a look here… goodness! Young lady, someone has removed all the skin from your arm!”

“Nothing gets by him,” Nyte said.

“I know that,” said Janine. “Please fix it.”

“Hmmm,” he added, looking over the whole group. “You all look pretty bad. You might want to stay the night. Here, change into these hospital gowns. It’ll make it easier to look at you, anyway.” He gave each member of the group a flimsy blue cloth garment that was purportedly designed to preserve their decency.

“Um… okay,” said Janine, as she cast a look about for assistance. “Xenos, do you feel up to helping me get my clothes off? I can’t move my arm much with it all bandaged up this way…”

Xenos agreed, and helped her into a room to change, and used the proper procedure of cutting the clothes off to not aggravate the wound. Meanwhile, Fenix and Nyte walked into other rooms to get into their own gowns.

Nyte soon emerged, but kept his back to the wall. Janine and Xenos followed suit, and then Fenix returned shortly after, quickly taking a seat. It was the lack of his helmet now that made him feel more vulnerable than any insufficiently-covering medical garment. The doctor took a long look at the unmasked Digger.

“…do I know you?”

“I was in here for the mechanical arm a few years ago.”

“Ah, yes. Hmmm, it seems you’ve gotten a few upgrades since then. I suppose your problem is this bloodied bandage on the back of your head?”

“Um… yes.”

The doctor took a long, hard look at Fenix, and the Digger started to sweat.

Breaking the awkward silence, the doctor finally spoke up. “Cade? Is that you?”

“Cade?” asked the others?

“I think you’ve got the wrong guy, doc,” Nyte said. “Tell ‘im… Fenix?”

Fenix let his head droop into his hands. “Yeah, I was right,” he said. “Last thing I should have done was recommend this hospital.”

“I was right!” said the doctor. “It IS you! By God, it’s been so long! How are you? Made some friends, I see!”

Fenix sighed. “Yes, Doctor Kohn, these are my… friends. Guys… this is Doctor Kohn, my old family doctor, and yes, my real name is Cade. My mother named me when she was still under the influence of pain medication, I swear.”

All Nytetrayn could say was “wow,” as a dumbstruck look sat upon his face.

“It’d be hard for me to forget you, my boy! Why, I still remember the day I delivered you…”

“Yeah,” said Fenix with no small amount of sarcasm. “That was a great day for us all.”

As the doctor went back to patching up Fenix’s head, he continued. “Boy, this brings back memories. It’s almost like cleaning up your scraped knees when you were learning to ride a hoverbike, or operating on your nose after it got broken when you beat up that gang of thugs…”

Fenix winced.

“Wow,” said Nyte. “So much history…”

“Yeah, you’ve healed up well. Just take it easy for a while, you’ve probably had a pretty nasty concussion.”

“…thanks…” was all Fenix would say.

Turning to the others, Doctor Kohn wiped off his hands. “I imagine you guys know all about Cade, and what he’s been doing! Have any embarrassing stories?”

Nyte began to think as Fenix let his head fall back into his hands, muttering something unintelligible. A few things came to mind, but Nyte decided to keep quiet.

“Well,” Xenos said, as he jabbed a thumb in Nyte’s direction, “this guy’s got ’em. Mostly, I remember him trying to get us killed by taking a trip through Hell.”

“Actually… Cade… hadn’t told us much about himself,” Janine said with a wicked smile. “I’m sure you know loads about his childhood…”

Fenix had a stricken look on his face.

“Well, well,” the doctor said as he moved to look over Xenos. “Cade always was a bit of a wildcard. That’s why he left his village, as I understand it. The locals didn’t much like him.”

Xenos whipped out a recorder. He listened intently as the doctor spoke, and cringed as the doctor cleaned his wounds.

“What’s not to like?” asked Nyte. “Besides the usual, I mean.”

Fenix glared at Nytetrayn.

“Oh, well, he was just kind of quiet,” the doctor said. “Had a bit of a temper too… not that half the other boys he beat up didn’t deserve it, but still, that’s frowned upon hereabouts.”

“Worried his poor mother to death, I might add,” he continued. “Bless her soul, the woman was a saint. Any other girl in the village would have put him up for adoption, but not her. She stuck by him through it all.”

“There now,” he said, as he finished up with Xenos. “You’ll heal, I’m pretty sure, come back in a week and I’ll take out the stitches.”

Doctor Kohm turned to Nytetrayn, and gave him a look over. “Hmmm… my my my… where have you kids been? Bruises, concussions, skin removal… that poor girl has a bite mark on her shoulder, even!”

“As I said,” Xenos reiterated, “‘Cade’ took us on a trip through Hell for a little money.”

“The Devil’s Yard,” said Nytetrayn. “It was fun. Except for the parts that sucked.”

“Well, that one refractor is still worth more than the one we found with Jan,” said Fenix. “And when did she get bitten, anyhow?”

“Um… I think that was Xenos,” Janine replied. “He was very enthusiastic,” she added with a smile.

“I did NOT bite you!” Xenos said. “Well, there, anyway.”

“Okay,” said Fenix. “Brain shutting down… NOW.”

“I really don’t want to hear about the misadventures of Xenos Geist,” added Nytetrayn, as he popped his stiffened neck loudly.

“That’s alright dear, I’m sure you can heal that on your own,” Doctor Kohn said, before he quickly turned to putting a few band-aids on Nytetrayn. “Alright, I want you four to stay the night for observation… maybe a little longer, in the young lady’s case. I’ll show you all to your room.”

Kohn led the group down the hall to a sterile white and pastel blue room, with five beds inside, separated by curtains.

“Thanks,” said Nyte, as he eased himself into the one nearest to the door.

“The bathroom’s over there,” the doctor said as he pointed to the facility. “Now, I’ll have to stipulate no usage of cigarettes or drugs or alcohol while you stay here, and it’s probably in your best interests not to copulate a lot – the beds aren’t that sturdy.”

“Don’t worry,” said Nytetrayn. “None of us are cops.”

Janine flopped into a bed with a disappointed look on her face, while Xenos plopped into another, and Fenix just layed down with a sigh.

“By the way, Doc… have you seen my mom since I left?”

“Yeah, she’s come in for regular check-ups, since there isn’t a qualified gynecologist on your island. I told her you dropped by to have your arm fixed.”

“You did what? Ah man, she’s probably been worried sick ever since.”

“She’s been worried sick since you were born. At least when she heard you’d come in to see me, she knew you were alive.”

“Maybe we should go see her later?” Nytetrayn suggested.

“Tell the woman to come over,” said Xenos. “This could be interesting.”

“No! Nein! Nes pa de visit! And stop harping on me. I’ll see her again when I’m good and ready.”

Doctor Kohn sighed. “Cade, you’re not going to make everything better by killing Creed.”

Fenix folded his arms, his eyes glowing menacingly. “Yes, I will.”

With that, Kohn sighed and shook his head, and left the four to themselves.

Nyte yawned as he stretched out on his bed. “Well, this beats the ruin, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah,” Fenix begrudgingly agreed. “Hmmm… I wonder if this is my old room. Xenos, I think you’re in the right bed. Is there a bunch of notches carved in the wall underneath it?”

Xenos tried to check, but groaned in pain as the way he bent upset something. Instead, he just got off the bed to check.

“Um, sorry,” said Fenix.

Meanwhile, Nyte patted his pillow. “I dunno about you guys, but some sleep sounds good right about now.”

As Xenos looked underneath the bed, something reached out and pulled Xenos’ eyelids down, and he let out a yelp. He backed away and opened his eyes to see who’d done it, and shouted “You!”

“Do I need to shoot something?” asked Fenix.

“You didn’t see anything,” came a voice from underneath the Air Pirate’s bed, followed by a shushing noise.

“But I do see something. A little girl hiding under my bed.”

The others watched on as the girl in question scuttled away and shuffled across the floor, disappearing under another bed.

“Radi, what the hell are you doing here?” asked Xenos.

“You know her?” Nyte asked.

“I’m hurt,” said Radi. “Take pity on a poor little girl.”

Nytetrayn flipped over in his bed, and buried his face in his pillow.

“This girl is a Digger, and could you guys PLEASE shut up about anything ex-say in front of the little kid?! And… when and how did you get hurt, Radi?”

Janine looked on in confusion as Radi loomed up next to Nyte, and poked him in the ear.

“Nnnn,” the Digger replied, as he peeked an eye out to the side. “May I help you?”

“Why do you smell funny?” she said with an unamused expression on her face.

Fenix died laughing.

“As you can tell,” Xenos said as he stood up, “she’s a bit strange.”

“Nah, I like her,” Fenix said, while Janine continued to observe the odd little thing.

“Blood, sweat, and a lack of showers in The Devil’s Yard. What’s your excuse?” Nyte responded crankily, as Radi climbed up on his back and hopped up and down a bit. He just buried his face back in his pillow, and hoped she would go away.

She did just that, as she took a mighty leap off his back and right into Janine’s arms. Janine stared for a moment before offering an “Um, hello.”

As Radi bounced a bit, she asked, “You don’t even have to hold me, do you? This is like sitting on a stage. Can you see your feet?”

Janine just stared in return, while Xenos facefaulted. “Um… wow… ah… Xenos, the munchkin is using my assets as a trampoline.”

“It’s a good place to hide refractors,” Radi said, before jumping away again, back to hopping on Nyte’s back.

“She’s like that,” Xenos said.

Janine covered her bosom protectively, and both she and Nyte winced. “That smarts just a little,” she said.

“Why’re you all looking at me funny?” Radi asked the group.

“That was the most bizarre girl on girl action I’ve ever seen,” Fenix said, before adding with an amused grin, “Sorry, I just can’t help myself.”

“Oh, so you’re a PERVERT, too,” Radi told Fenix.

“I never denied it.”

Xenos said, “She’s a pretty good judge of character, Fenix!”

“And I don’t bounce on a perfect stranger’s bosom,” Fenix continued. “What’s your excuse?”

“They bounced me, I’ll have you know.”

“True, they are very powerful,” Fenix said.

Janine blushed. “The most powerful weapon in my arsenal,” she said with a nod.

“And I’m tired, and you’re all noisy,” Radi said as she bounced into another bed, then pulled the covers over her head.

Nyte thought to himself, “ALL noisy…?”

“Ah, yes, it might do us all some good to get a bit of sleep,” Fenix said. “Can we trust the munchkin not to kill us as we dream?”

“Yeah. She’s just chaotic, not murderous.”

Nytetrayn listened to the conversation – and Radi singing something from under her covers – as he tried to get some shut-eye.

“Good, good,” Fenix said, before shooting the light out.

*****

Later that night, things were quiet in the hospital. Well, sort of.

Fenix could be heard murmuring “mommy” in his sleep, while Janine occasionally mumbled, “No, not the kangaroos…” Xenos just snored.

Nyte eventually woke up to the cacophony, and saw that the others were still asleep. He decided to walk around a little bit, and as he wandered the halls of the hospital, he overheard a couple of nurses talking amongst themselves.

“Any improvement?” one asked as they looked into one of the rooms.

“Not yet,” replied the other nurse. “Sad case, this one. I don’t know what we’ll do if she doesn’t show any signs of improvement soon.”

The first nurse nodded.

Nytetrayn was bored, and as a result, curious. So he asked, “What’s going on?”

Startled, the two nurses both looked at the Digger, not aware of his presence until now.

“Well,” said the second nurse, “it’s like this. There’s a girl that’s been kept here for some time now, before either of us got here, in a coma. She has a condition that’s difficult to remedy without the proper resources. And since we’re a non-profit organization, sometimes such things are hard to come by.”

“Her condition has been stabilized,” added the first nurse, “but there hasn’t been any improvement since.”

“Wow,” said Nytetrayn, a shocked expression written across his face. “That sucks.”

The understatement made the nurses’ face go blank.

“So, who is she?”

“We don’t know,” said the second nurse. “There aren’t any records available on her. She was just sort of… found.”

“Man, wish there was something I could do to help,” Nyte said. “I doubt I have anything you’d need, though.”

“Yes, that would be nice,” said the first nurse. “We have the equipment, but what we really need is a refractor with enough power to use it.”

Nyte’s heart sank. “…a… refractor?”

“Yeah,” said the second nurse, “a large one would probably do the trick. It’s a sensitive operation. Smaller refractors won’t do the job; it has to have a constant surge of power to work effectively.”

“Well, damn,” Nytetrayn thought to himself. “Okay, we just went through Hell, fighting Gawd knows what, and I finally got a refractor that can power my mech. And now THIS comes up. What a kick in the teeth this is.”

“The mech… or the girl…” Nyte continued thinking. “Mech, girl, mech… girl… I’ve been working on that mech for some time now… probably like a good year or so, at least…”

“How long has that girl been here?” Nyte asked.

The first nurse answered, “I’d say a good year or so, at least.”

“D’OH!” Nytetrayn thought, though he tried to avoid visibly wincing outwardly too much.

“…or I can help the girl here, who I don’t know,” Nyte thought.

After what felt like an eternity of deliberation, Nytetrayn finally sighed in resignation.

“I’m going to hate myself for this in the morning,” he said, “but it probably won’t matter, because the others will no doubt kill me before I get a chance to reflect on it.”

He looked back at the two nurses, and fought back the pained, frustrated expression that was so desperately trying to spread across his face. “Stay put, I’ll be right back…”

Nytetrayn went back to the room, and dug through his stuff, soon producing the refractor – which there was no way in hell he was going to trust the washing machine-wrangling Helpbots with.

He thought things over to himself one last time. “Do I really want to do this? I mean, surely SOMEone will donate a good refractor soon, right?”

He thought back to the earlier conversation…

“How long has that girl been here?” Nyte asked.

The first nurse answered, “I’d say a good year or so, at least.”

“D’OH!”

“Oh yeah,” he thought in the here and now. “Maybe not.”

Nytetrayn looked over at the others, still sleeping, and sighed again. “Oh,well. Only live once, right? Why should I hog all of that for myself? Besides, isn’t this sort of thing the reason we dig, anyway?”

Returning to the waiting nurses, Nyte asked, “Will this do the trick?” He again tried to hide any expression that showed reluctance, though he wasn’t sure how well that was going.

Both nurses’ eyes widened as they took notice of the rather large refractor that now stood before them. “I… think that may work,” said the first nurse.

“…good. Here you go, do… whatever you’re going to do with it,” Nyte said, as he handed the refractor over to the pair, who proceeded to fall over with the refractor on top of them. He then gave them a hand getting the refractor to some sort of cart so they could move it more easily.

“Well, you two have fun with that thing now,” Nyte said. “I think I’ll just head back to bed…”

“…and cry myself to sleep,” he thought to himself, before letting out another sigh.

The nurses thanked him for his contribution again, as Nyte made his way back to the room, muttering something about curiosity killing his bank account.

Nyte got back into bed, face down, and planted his face firmly in the pillow until he got to sleep. Or at least, that was the plan, before being interrupted.

“Mmmph… Nyte…?” asked Janine. “That you?”

“Yeah, ‘s me,” Nyte replied. “How’s the arm?”

“It’s okay… the doctor gave me some medication. I can’t sleep, though… I keep dreaming about East.”

“Yeah, I could go for some sweet and sour chicken, too.”

“What? No, not that East. Sherman. The Reanimator.”

“Oh, right, right… why him?”

“’Cause he sucked the skin off my arm.”

“Frankly, that would make me want to keep him out of my dreams, but what happened in the dream?”

“I just see him… coming after me,” she said with a shudder. “Can… can I… sleep with you? And I mean literally, ’cause I’m kinda tired.”

Nyte’s eyes widened. “Uh… I… um… that is, to say… um…”

“Please? Fenix and Xenos are asleep, and I’m afraid they’d have heart attacks if they woke up next to me.”

“Well,” Nyte said reluctantly, “I guess it might be okay for just a little…”

“Thanks.”

“Uh, sure…”

Janine slipped out of her bed and quickly over to Nyte’s cot, and snuggled in beside him, sighing contentedly.

“Great,” Nyte thought to himself. “I’ll never hear the end of this… I wonder if the nurse could slip some horse tranquilizers into the others while they sleep…”

*****

The next morning, Xenos sat up in his bed and yawned, while Fenix mumbled something about “five more minutes.”

A few beds over, Nytetrayn was snoozing away. At least, until Janine reflexively snuggled up to him and licked his ear in her sleep. Nyte’s eyes shot open, and he glanced over to see it was just Janine, and breathed a sigh of relief, though it soon turned to him wondering what he’d gotten himself into as she rubbed up against him.

Finally, Radi was on the floor, with half of her blanket around her, and the other half hanging onto the bed.

“My,” said Xenos, looking down at Radi. “That little kid can’t keep in one place, even when asleep.”

With a sigh, he picked her up and placed her back onto her bed before heading off to check the room. As he did this, Radi woke up, and looked across at Jan and Nyte.

“THEY’RE GOING TO HAVE SEX!!” she hollered, as Xenos cringed.

Fenix sat bolt upright with a start, while Janine squealed and fell out of bed and Nyte jumped before falling off the other side, landing face first with his legs hanging over his back.

“Ow!” shouted Janine.

“Who? What? It’s not what it looks like, I swear!” shouted Fenix.

Radi leaped upon Nyte and started to bludgeon him with a pillow. “What do you think you’re doing, with an impressionable young girl in the room!?”

“Oy,” Xenos muttered.

“Ask her,” Nyte said, as he pointed at Janine with a groggy, annoyed expression. “It was all her idea.”

“I just needed the assurance of his company,” Janine said, wide-eyed at Radi’s reaction.

“…my life is pain,” Nyte said, as Radi rolled off and hopped on to Xenos, causing the Pirate to stumble.

“Food?” she asked, with a huge grin upon her face.

“Only of the hospital variety here,” he said.

“Poop,” she replied.

“I could use a bite, myself,” Janine agreed as she got up and dusted herself off..

“Xenos didn’t satisfy you enough?” Nyte asked, as he got to his feet.

“Of food, you nympho.”

“If the doctor discharges us, I’ve got some good eats on the ship,” Xenos said. “I’m sure you remember our little tea party…”

“You mean your traveling breakfast hutch?” Nyte asked.

“Yes, that was fun,” Janine said. “I doubt I’m good to go yet, though, my arm’s starting to hurt like a bastard child. I’m gonna go find Doctor Kohn, see what the prognosis is, latz.”

With that, Janine headed out the door, trying to pull her gown down far enough to preserve some modesty.

“It sucked,” Radi said to Xenos, a rather unimpressed look on her face.

“Well, it was rather short notice.”

As Fenix emerged from the washroom, rubbing his eyes, Nyte said, “You seem to know this place well enough. Where do we get food?”

“Hmmm… Well, as I remember it, there’s a fairly decent restaurant across the street.”

“Hmm, guess we should get dressed,” Nyte said, looking down at his current attire.

“Yeah, said Fenix, “leaving the hospital in these is generally frowned upon.”

“Sounds good,” Xenos said. He looked at the girl on his back. “You hear that you monkey?”

“You look funny,” she replied with a huge grin.

“We sure do,” he said as he reached back to grab the squirming little kid.

“Yes, well, getting your eyes and left arm ripped out generally do that to ya’,” said Fenix.

“I’m not going to ask how you gained such knowledge,” Nyte replied.

“It’s a sordid tale.”

As it turned out, for all its quirks, the hospital was very accommodating: their clothes were washed, pressed, and folded – or in the case of armor, polished – and set at the foot of their beds.

Nyte pulled his curtain shut, so he could change without corrupting the little mealworm. Fenix, on the other hand, didn’t really care. He figured he’d been flashing people all day in the hospital’s meager excuse for a gown, so he stripped the plastic thing off and put on his clothes.

“AAAAAAAAGHH!” screamed Radi, as she clapped her hands over her eyes and writhed.

“Oh, shut up,” said the older Digger. “You’re no prize yourself.”

Xenos grabbed the kid and set her down, looking away from Fenix. “Personally, I don’t want to get dressed and all until I know whether the doctor needs to keep looking at us.”

Nytetrayn finished getting his armor on, and Fenix was most of the way there, but let out a small yelp as he started to put on his helmet.

“Well, he only really needs to look at my head,” he said with a wince, “which has apparently grown too large to accommodate my helmet.”

“I don’t think there’s much more he can do to me,” Nyte said. “He can look at me after food.”

“Yes, after food is good,” said Fenix.

“My eeyyyess,” moaned Radi.

“Ahhh, enough already,” Fenix said, as he tousled her hair. “I’ll buy you breakfast, if you shut up.”

“Don’t worry,” said Xenos. “Once we eat, the food will push that horrible, horrible, nightmarish sight out of your memory.”

“…and YOU don’t encourage her,” Fenix told the grinning Pirate.

“Now, if you will excuse me a second, I need to see a naked woman about a missing doctor,” Xenos said as he ducked out to find Kohn and Janine.

“You’re all horrible,” Radi said tearfully.

“Hey, we didn’t ask for you as our roommate,” Nyte said. “Fate threw us a swerve, and it beaned us.”

“I imagine you’ll be much the same after another ten years or so,” added Fenix. “What’s a kid of your age doing running around alone, anyway?”

“I… dig,” she said.

Meanwhile, out in the hall somewhere, Xenos found one of his targets. “Hey, Janine, how are ya’? What’s the word from the doc?”

Janine just frowned.

“Not good, then.”

“He said he’s surprised by how fast it’s healing, but the skin isn’t growing back right, apparently.”

“That’s not good. I guess we’re here for a while, huh?”

“Yeah… and my ass is freezing.”

“Well… let’s get you into some clothes and fix that. I need to get dressed myself.”

“Thanks.”

“C’mon, let’s go… I’ve left Nyte and Fenix alone with the poor kid long enough as it is.”

Janine nodded, and followed Xenos back to the room.

In the meantime, Fenix had decided against wearing his armor around town, which left him in a black shirt and pants. He decided to keep the cloak, however, along with a belt carrying his Plasma Caster.

After Xenos and Janine returned, he helped her get into her outfit, after being careful to close them off with a screen to avoid Radi’s gaze. He then went about donning his own armor.

“Well then,” Xenos said, stepping out from behind the curtain, “let’s go eat!”

“Yes, let’s,” said Fenix. “Assuming Ratty is dressed.”

“What? What? WHAT?”

“You ready to go yet, kiddo?”

Radi snorted and stomped out.

“Temperamental sort, isn’t she?” said Nyte.

“Aww, poor little thing. She just needs some adult supervision,” said Janine. “I nominate us!”

Fenix’s eyes widened. “WAIT. Let’s not go about adopting hyperactive child diggers!”

“I’ll take care of this,” Xenos said, as he rolled his eyes and sighed while stepping out after Radi.

“But she’s so cute,” Janine said, with a pouty expression.

“So are lemurs, but we aren’t taking them with,” said Nytetrayn.

“I’d make a bad father figure,” said Fenix. “My dad abandoned me at conception, remember? And… oh dear god, why am I arguing about this? We sound like a married couple!”

“I’m too young to be a father-figure,” said Nyte. “And I keep firearms within reach of children. It just wouldn’t work.” Nyte paused for a moment as he thought of the crossing of Radi with firearms, before adding, “…or would it…?”

“Hey! That’s mean!” said Janine.

Fenix said, “Say what, junior?”

“Quiet, old man, lest I crank up your hearing aid.”

“My what?! I’m not too old to put you over my knee, boy!”

“Anyway, I really don’t think it’s a good idea to take the little jackal with us, though,” Nyte said, as he imagined the combustible elements involved between Radi AND the Helpbots together…

Meanwhile, out in the halls (again), Xenos found Radi attached to one of the nurses, as she gnawed on her arm. “You just never stop do you, ya’ lil’ babboon?”

“I’M A WHAT?!” Radi said, stone faced.

Xenos grinned. “So you don’t mind being called a monkey, but ‘baboon’ ticks you off. Okay. Now leave the nurse alone.”

Radi hopped off and sulked.

“Hey-ey!” he said, approaching her. “I’m sorry.”

Radi attached to him and began chewing, though she seemed to be… calmer. At least comparatively. Xenos gave her a light pat on the back. “You okay, kiddo?” She chewed as a response.

Fenix and Janine soon caught up, still bickering, while Nytetrayn just followed. Xenos caught their attention when he said, “Let’s go get some food, eh?”

Janine cocked her head to the side with a starry look in her eyes. “Awww, aren’t those two just adorable?”

Ignoring Janine for the moment, Xenos told Radi, “Now, if you keep chewing on me, I’m going to have to carry you, and that’d look rather odd, now wouldn’t it?”

Fenix just rolled his eyes, and said in a flat tone, “Yes. Adorable.”

Radi hopped off, and made some show of spitting repeatedly.

Xenos grinned. “Now, let’s go.”

The group exited the hospital. Radi stumped bad-naturedly after, and Xenos sort of walked protectively and watchfully next to her, as he seemed to be the only one with the sense to deal with the kid.

“Hmmmm… Yeah, the restaurant’s… over there,” Fenix said, as he looked around before pointing in the direction of the restaurant. “They had pretty good food, last time I checked… or do you guys not trust me?” he added with a smirk.

“Do you really want us to name off a list as to WHY we shouldn’t trust you?” Nyte asked.

“A simple yes or no will suffice.”

“I’m hungry, how’s that?”

“Well, looks good enough to me,” said Xenos.

“WHEE!” shouted Radi as she ran in, leaving a cloud of dust behind her.

After taking that in for a moment, Nytetrayn said, “…I am so not ready for children…”

“Oh boy… Excuse me,” Xenos said, as he chased after her.

“I wonder how he knows her, anyway,” Nyte said to the others.

“Probably her dad,” said Fenix. “Left her and her mom behind. Dads do that, in my experience.” He then moved on after Xenos and Radi, with Nytetrayn shaking his head as he and Janine followed suit.

Xenos arrived at the restaurant and looked about for Radi, only to find her sitting quite civilly at a table. He let out a huge sigh of relief, then pondered how long this kid had been raising herself, anyway. As he walked up to the table and pulled out a seat, he asked, “May I?”

“Be my guest,” she said with a huge grin.

Meanwhile, Fenix sat down at a nearby booth, albeit in a corner that he felt was unlikely to be seen from much of the restaurant. Nytetrayn joined him, while Janine walked over to where Xenos and Radi were sitting, and asked, “May I?”

“I LOVE YOU GUYS, TOO,” Radi said with a huge grin on her face, before acknowledging Janine. “Sure.”

As Janine shrugged and took a seat, Xenos asked, “Hey Radi, I’ve gotta wonder.. How long have you been just wandering about on your own?”

“I dunno,” she answered.

“Huh. Did you ever have parents?”

“I must’ve,” she said, as she rolled her eyes.

“You know what I mean. Did you know your parents?”

Radi squirmed, and said, “Nooooooo…”

“Err, sorry,” Xenos said, as he looked around to get a feel of the restaurant. “Let’s get some food.”

Over in the booth, Nyte asked Fenix, “Why are we sitting over here?”

“It occurs to me that it wouldn’t do for you guys to be seen next to the island’s black sheep.”

“Meh,” Nyte said, waving the notion off. “I’m pretty much used to being seen with you.”

“No, you don’t understand,” Fenix said, “if I’m recognized, I may well get run out of town.”

“So why’d you come out without your helmet on?”

“Because I doubt anyone’ll recognize me after so long… and because that helmet’ll scare the pants off anyone who sees it, anyway.”

“If you doubt anyone will recognize you, why worry?” After a moment’s thought, Nyte added, “I could help disguise you, if you like.”

“Nah… I’m… okay…”

Undeterred, Nytetrayn rummaged through his pack and produced a pair of glasses. “Try these,” he said as he handed them over.

“Um… o-kay,” Fenix said, reluctantly putting them on.

“Hmm, needs something else,” Nyte said, as he dug some more, and pulled out a bandana, and passed it over. “Put this over your head.”

“I don’t think so,” Fenix said.

“I can loan you my hat,” Nyte said, handing over his lucky Outback hat.

“I guess,” Fenix said, as he dubiously put it on.

“Just take care of it,” Nyte said, as he started to get up. “Now, let’s go sit with the others.”

“Alright,” said Fenix, who now looked rather annoyed as he got up and submitted to sitting down next to Xenos, and opposite Radi.

They joined in just as the waiter, Daryl, had begun taking their orders. Radi tried her luck at ordering a beer, but Xenos had whispered to make it a diet cola instead, seeing as she was hyper enough as it is. That didn’t stop him from picking out a nice alcoholic beverage for himself, however, while Janine went with juice.

“So, how have you been making it along?” Xenos said, as he began to continue his conversation with Radi when Fenix and Nyte joined them. “Oh, joining us, Fenix?”

“Yes,” Fenix said, before quickly changing his mind. “Actually, if you don’t mind, in fact, I should probably go…”

“Noooo,” Xenos said, as he started to get up. Then Radi sat on him.

“O-kay,” Fenix said, as he remained seated, prompting Radi to return to her own.

“C’mon, you said yourself no one would likely recognize you,” Nyte said. “Especially now.”

“My own mother wouldn’t recognize me now.”

“Strange tactics you have, kidd-o,” said Xenos.

“They work,” Radi said nonchalantly.

“‘Tactics’ implies there is a method to this madness,” said Nytetrayn.

“So,” Xenos continued, “I was asking you… how have you made it on your own?”

“I dig.”

“I noticed, but before you became a Digger. And I’ll have to find out how a kid like you has managed to fight Reaverbots.”

“A slingshot?” Nyte suggested.

“Maybe she has superpowers?” said Janine.

Radi just grinned toothily.

“…you gnaw them to death?” guessed Nytetrayn.

“That would be interesting,” said Fenix.

“No,” replied Radi.

“So… how do you pull it off then?” asked Xenos.

“You reeeeaally wanna know?” she said, still grinning.

“Not really, but I’m sure you’re going to tell us anyway,” said Fenix.

“I feel I should point out I’m becoming wary at this point,” added Nytetrayn.

“I asked you, didn’t I?” said Xenos.

“Aww, come on,” Janine said with a cheerful expression, “tell us!”

Still smiling, Radi said, “With these,” as she pulled a couple of ticking bombs from seemingly out of nowhere.

“AH!… ah… those aren’t armed, are they?” asked Xenos.

“I’ll bet money they are,” said Fenix.

“Well, of course they are,” Radi said with an expression that made it clear she felt it was obvious. “What’s the point of duds?”

“Well, rather, I mean,” Xenos stammered. “They aren’t ticking down to explode in your hands, are they?”

“If she’s survived using them so far, I imagine she won’t just let them go off,” said Janine.

“Oh, not in my hands, no,” Radi said, as she tossed them behind her, where they proceeded to roll into the kitchen.

“Oh, great,” Janine said.

“If they went off in my hands, it’d be unhealthy,” Radi said with a dumbfounded look on her face.

Nyte’s eyes widened for a moment, then he turned to look at Fenix. “Wanna go back to the other table?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, that’s a good plan.”

While Nytetrayn and Fenix resumed their place at the other table, Xenos said, “Radi… blowing up the place where they make the food we’re about to eat is generally considered a bad idea. Do you know how to disarm those bombs?”

“Sure,” she said. “But it’s too late now, the ticking’s already getting faster. You hear it?”

“Right. Let’s RUN,” said the Pirate, as he grabbed Radi and Janine before dashing out, pulling a nearby fire alarm on his way.

Nyte looked at Fenix again. “And you thought you’d be the reason they’d be after us.” With that, he and Fenix bolted, and Nyte shouted, “Fire in the hole!!!” before clearing the exit.

Moments later, a loud “BOOM!” could be heard, and black smoke puffed out of the building. It first took the shape of a big smiling face, before trickling steady into the sky.

Xenos set Radi down in front of him. “Mind explaining to me WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT!?”

“I don’t know you,” Nyte said to Radi, while Fenix rubbed the bridge of his nose in irritation.

“Awww… that’s a terrible thing to say!” a frowning Janine told Nyte.

“You asked,” Radi said, with another confused expression on her face.

“NOT FOR A LIVE DEMONSTRATION!!!” Nyte shouted, before regaining his composure. “Wait, no, I don’t know you. I’m going back to my hospital bed.”

As Xenos developed another eye tick, he asked, hands firmly on her shoulders, “You could have told us in words instead of blowing up the kitchen… so… why did you blow up the kitchen, Radi?”

“I couldn’t blow up my hands.”

“If anyone needs me, I’ll be having my head examined. I think I’m getting a headache,” Nyte said, as he headed back to the hospital.

“Why did you have to activate the bombs in the first place, Radi?” Xenos asked, a manic grin of stress-terror and all-in-all not-goodness spread across his face.

“Becaaauuse you aaaasked how I did it.”

“Why did you have to demonstrate? You could have just TOLD us you used bombs.”

“You might not have believed me.”

“Hmmm, actually, I think I see her point,” said Fenix. “Just TELLING you wouldn’t have explained her point nearly as well

Janine looked back and forth between Fenx and Radi, eyes widened in disbelief at what she was hearing.

“Please tell me those were only your small bombs,” Xenos said, “because…”

“Oh, yeah,” Radi said, before her face lit up with a huge grin. “You wanna see one of the really big ones?”

“NO.”

“Okay,” Radi replied, looking somewhat dejected.

“How big do they get?” Fenix asked.

“Depends how big I want it.”

“DON’T ASK,” said Xenos. “I’d rather see it in practice than in town. Radi… Do you understand that you could have killed somebody there?”

“Could have?” said Fenix. “She probably did.”

“Noooo…” Radi said.

“That’s impressive, I was only seventeen when I first killed someone,” Fenix continued, but Xenos was pointedly ignoring him at this point.

“What, were those only smoke bombs?” asked the Pirate.

“Nooooo… But they’re not… lethal. It’s kind of like… special effects.”

“Thank goodness,” said Xenos.

“Should they have been?” Radi asked, confused.

“No, but we sure as hell thought they were,” Xenos said. “And… we should probably be going before somebody decides to arrest us.”

“I thought I explained,” Radi said, rolling her eyes.

“Yes, being arrested is bad,” Fenix said. “They will recognize me then. You don’t want to be caught with the ‘Pirate Strangler’.”

“Wait,” said Xenos. “You’re the…”

“What?”

“And here I thought it was all some freak coincidence.”

“You’ve heard of me?” Fenix said with a perplexed expression. “It was just one time… I didn’t think it got off the island.”

“What’s going on?” Janine asked.

“…let’s just say there are a lot fewer Pirates than you think, and many, many, many fewer pirating families than you think. Word travels fast.”

“I didn’t think the sumbitch had family,” Fenix said.

“I hear sirens!” Radi said, her face aglow with a huge grin.

“…we’d probably better go, now,” said Fenix.

“Anyway. Radi,” Xenos said, “next time, just tell us it’s special effects, and we’ll sit back and applaud. But for now, WE GET THE HELL OUT!”

With that, Janine grabbed Xenos and Radi and flew back to the hospital, the young girl squealing happily along the way.

“Hey, what am I?” Fenix asked as he followed. “Chopped liver?”

“Not quite!” Xenos called back. “More like minced!”

“Hardy-har-har!”

Janine landed them gently outside the door, and lowered herself to the ground. She winced as she realized she probably shouldn’t have used her arm just then.

“You okay, Jan?” Xenos asked.

“Yah, I’ll be fine. Let’s go back in,” she said as she headed inside, frowning at her injured limb.

“Okay…”

Meanwhile, Radi swung in through a window, and Fenix dove after her, cackling madly.

Xenos looked over to Radi. “By the by, Kiddo, if you ever feel like robbing people blind, just let me know.”

“Oh,” she said, rolling her eyes and shuffling her feet.

To be continued…

—–

Legends of the Halcyon Era is a work of fan fiction set in the world of Mega Man Legends. It is largely adapted from a series of freeform RPG sessions, combining ideas from several contributors, and further fleshed out here in a prose format.

David Oxford, also known as LBD “Nytetrayn,” is a lifelong Mega Man fan who, along with his wife Nadia, has co-written the Mega Man Robot Master Field Guide and Mega Man X Maverick Hunter’s Field Guide from UDON Entertainment, and runs The Mega Man Network (themmnetwork dot com). You can also find him on Twitter @LBD_Nytetrayn and @themmnetwork, and on Twitch and YouTube under the name “Nyteworks.”

You can also find Legends of the Halcyon Era as it updates at Archive of Our Own.

Thanks for reading!