Legends of the Halcyon Era: A Weird-Ass Christmas Story – Black Steel Bounces Back

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Legends of the Halcyon Era

A Weird-Ass Christmas Story: Black Steel Bounces Back

by

David Oxford/LBD “Nytetrayn”

*****

Some time has passed, and it was Christmas morning on Monroe Island.

Fenix and Janine were conked out in their room from a night of festive eggnog activities. As usual, Celeste was asleep in Nytetrayn’s room, while Nytetrayn himself was asleep on the living room sofa, tossing and turning a little in his makeshift place of rest.

A shaft of early morning sun splashed across the young Digger’s eyes. “Nnnn,” he muttered, before he rolled off the side of the couch and went splat on the floor. With that, he got to his feet, still wearing his clothes from the previous day, and started the coffee.

An oddly phallic tree could be seen glinting merrily in the living room, with a mound of presents beneath its branches. As he drank his coffee, Nyte looked at the tree Fenis and Janine got, and shook his head. He noted a similarity between the shape of the top of the tree and Fenix’s helmet, but then decided it was better not to think about it.

Nyte took a look at the time. 9:30.

“Guess we may as well get this thing started,” he said to himself. First, he went over to the door of the room where Celeste was sleeping and knocked lightly, calling Celeste’s name through the door in a gentle but audible manner until he received confirmation that she was awake.

That done, he crossed the apartment, and kicked on Fenix’s door.

“’EY, FENIX! GET YOUR SORRY ASS UP!!!”

Fenix’s head emerged from the doorway, his hair spiked up in amusing ways.

“Hey, Hedgehog-Head, it’s Christmas morning.”

“Bloody marvelous.”

Janine’s head followed moments later, her hair in a similar arrangement, made far more amusing by the fact that she had three feet of it.

“Hi, Jan.”

Janine waved. “Mornin’.”

Celeste emerged from Nyte’s room, shirt untucked, as she yawned and stretched.

Fenix came out, wearing sweatpants, while Janine came out with a robe on, and little else. Nyte was unphased by this. Celeste wasn’t quite as unphased, but managed to look unsurprised, just the same.

The two grabbed their own coffee, and Fenix situated himself on the couch, while Janine sat on the floor.

“Alrighty!” she said. “Let’s see what this ‘Christmas’ thing you mortals are going on about is all about!”

“Yes, your godship,” said Nyte, which elicited a smirk from Fenix. “Okay, so who goes first?”

The morning wore on, as the group exchanged gifts among themselves.

Fenix received an antique Colt revolver and a gag gift of Ass Cream from Nyte, a silk collared button-up shirt in the colors of his armor from Cel, and an Iori Yagami costume from Janine.

Gifts for Janine included a green and gold kimono decorated in a floral pattern from Celeste, various shojo and josei videos and manga from Nyte, and a Mai Shiranui costume with fans from Fenix.

From Fenix, Nytetrayn received a golden dragon figurine with handles on the top and bottom that revealed a Gatling gun in its mouth and a black laser pistol. Janine gave him a black shirt with the words “Shadow Digger” in smoky white letters on the back. Nyte chuckled, “I kinda like the sound of that.”

Janine gave Celeste a light, springy knee-length dress with spaghetti straps, which she promised would complement her figure without revealing it too much. And at first, it looked like Fenix had given Celeste a shovel with a book titled “Digging for Beginners,” but upon further inspection, she found the portable CD player beneath its false bottom.

Finally, there were only two gifts left to be given among the quartet.

“Well,” said Fenix, “there’s only you two left.”

Janine nodded. “Yes! I want to see what you two got for each other!”

“Oh, er… well… okay,” said Nytetrayn, as he nervously handed Celeste her gift, a small box. “I dunno, it’s really not much of anything…”

Celeste took the box and opened it, pulling out a small translucent shard of crystal on a tan necklace. She held it up to the light and looked at it as it turned, at a loss for words.

Fenix smirked.

“It’s… it’s a piece of the refractor,” Nyte said. “You know, the one… the one we used to help you out… before…”

Celeste nodded, still speechless, and put it on.

Janine’s eyes grew large as they welled up with tears. “That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard…”

“Subtly remind her that she owes him her life?” Fenix asked. “He’s going for the poontang, woman!”

The other three looked at Fenix silently, before Janine grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and dragged him to his room. Shouting was heard, as well as a few thumps, before Janine emerged, dusting off her hands.

“There! Forget him.”

Nyte put his new dragon-gun back down, since it seemed it was no longer needed. “Can he still walk?” he asked.

“In a few hours, probably,” she said as she plopped down on the couch.

“Oh well,” Nyte said.

“I’ve got something for you, too,” Celeste said as she handed Nytetrayn a small box, though she looked rather embarrassed about it.

“Go on honey,” said Janine. “No one will make sexual comments about it.”

Celeste just lowered her eyes again.

Nytetrayn opened the box, and his face turned to surprise when he found a necklace. One similar to the one he’d given Celeste.

“I… guess we had the same idea,” she said, still a bit sheepish.

“Awww, that’s so cute,” Janine said with puppy eyes.

As Nyte held it up to get a better look, Celeste told him, “After all the trouble I heard you guys went through, I thought you should at least have part of it…”

“Thank you,” said Nyte.

“I don’t understand,” said Janine. “How did you two get pieces of the refractor?”

“I just sent a letter a while back, asking if I could get a piece off of it,” Nyte said.

“Yeah,” Celeste added. “That’s pretty much what I did, too.”

“Aha,” Janine said, seemingly satisfied with the answer. “Well, I think it’s very sweet.”

Nytetrayn reddened a little at Jan’s comment, as did Celeste, as they turned away slightly and rubbed the back of their heads a little.

“Thanks, Nyte,” said Celeste, and the two shared a quick hug.

“Group hug!” shouted Janine, as she suddenly smothered the both of them into her chest, before letting them go again.

“GA-”

“-SP!”

***

Later that day, the group heard a knock at the door as they prepared to visit the Air Pirate, Xenos Geist, at the site of his crashed airship.

Celeste opened the door, and found Adam Powers on the other side. He had a purple scarf over his regular attire, and a large sack slung over his shoulder. His armor seemed to be extra-polished today.

“Hello!” she said.

“Merry Christmas, Miss Celeste!” said Adam. “Are your wonderful companions here?”

Celeste nodded. Just then, Janine burst out of the bathroom, dripping wet, and dashed across the span of the apartment and leaped into Fenix’s room, then slammed the door.

“They’re around.”

Adam reached into his bag and pulled out a brightly-wrapped package, which he handed to Celeste. “Merry Christmas!”

“Thank you,” Celeste said, a little bashfully.

“I have other things for everyone else, so if I may…”

“Sure,” Celeste said, as she stepped aside to allow Adam to step in.

Fenix emerged from the bathroom a moment later, dripping wet with a towel wrapped around his nether regions. “THAT WAS COLD, WOMAN! COLD!”

“Hi, Fenix!” Adam said cheerfully.

“Hello there, Adam. Wassup?”

“Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas,” Fenix said, before going and rapping on the door to his bedroom. “Woman! Let me in!”

“No!” came the muffled reply. “You’ll torture me!”

“…when have you ever objected to that?”

The door opened. “Good point.”

Nyte stepped out of his room, already showered and in some clean clothes, including his new shirt. Once everyone got things in order, they exchanged gifts.

Adam gave Celeste some nice clothes, while Fenix received a Halconnen 30mm cannon. Nyte got a set of Buster parts, as well as the logic core from a Reaverbot that Adam had held on to for good luck. Janine received a nice necklace, reminiscent of the styles often found in ruins.

In return, Adam received a digging backpack filled with some books for making mechanical notes and other things, as well as a coupon for a free beer at Joe’s Tavern. Fenix and Janine gave him a Tai chi tutorial video, starring Janine.

Once all that was done, Nyte told Adam, “We were just getting ready to go pay Xenos a visit, wanna come with?”

“Sure,” he said with merriment as he patted his bag, which was apparently still not quite empty yet. “Wouldn’t want to leave him out today.”

Janine put the finishing touches on her “Sexy Mrs. Claus” outfit while the others gathered their things, and off they went to the ruins of Xenos’ ship, with Fenix leading the way.

***

Down at the beach, the group arrived at Xenos’ ship, which appeared to no longer be in a state of ruin.

“Looks like he’s been busy,” Fenix stated, as he rapped on the door of the vessel.

Up above, an oil-stained, scuffed, and burned Xenos Geist appeared at the rail of the mid-deck. “Ah! Door’s open!” he shouted.

“Permission to come aboard!” Fenix called back. “We come bearing gifts!”

Fenix was then shoved through the door with an “ACK!” by Nytetrayn. Celeste restrained her laughter a little.

Adam smiled and shook his head a bit as he held the door open for the others. “After you, ladies,” he said.

Janine responded in kind with a revealing curtsy. “Thank you, kind sir,” she said before entering.

Celeste delivered a smile and a more modest “thank you” as well, before heading in.

“You’re quite welcome, miss,” he said as Celeste passed through, and he closed the door behind him.

Inside, Xenos greeted the group, and Nyte tossed him a gift, which he barely caught. “Happy X-mas, man.”

“He-ey, guys!”

“Wassup?” said Fenix.

Adam turned to Xenos, and with a smirk and mischief in his sunglasses-covered eyes, said, “Arr, Merry Christmas, matey! Arr!”

The others got a hearty chuckle at that, as Xenos replied with a smile, “Hey Adam, I’ll most likely kill you in your sleep some day.”

“Not if I get you first,” Adam replied, with a smile mirroring the Air Pirate’s.

“If anyone’s killing anyone in their sleep, it’s gonna be ME,” Fenix declared.

Disregarding that, Adam dug around in his sack for a moment, before pulling out a package he handed to Xenos. “Merry Christmas, ya old pirate!”

“Enough with the pirate jokes,” Xenos said as he took it, then led the group up to the new sitting room.

There, Radi swung into the room on a jump rope with one end tied to something, somewhere. She was decked out in various explosives and kitchen utensils, as she bellowed out, “THERE’S A DUCK IN MY BELLYYYYYY!”

“Hello….erm…Radi, wasn’t it?” said Adam.

Fenix gasped and pointed at the young girl. “DEMON MONKEY!”

“SUCK GAS,” she replied, before she pelted Adam and Fenix with smoke pellets.

“AAAIIIIEGH!!!” Fenix yelled, then pulled his helmet out from beneath his cloak and jammed it on. “That is foul.”

Nytetrayn stood with a deadpan expression on his face, while he and the others held their noses.

“Hey Radi, have a seat. We’re exchanging gifts,” Xenos said. “Just a second guys, I’ll go get my gifts for you,” he added as he left the room for the moment.

Radi drew a pair of spatulas, and eyed the crowd warily.

“Calm down young lady, or no presents for you!” Janine said.

“I thought you might be here, Radi, so I got something for you, too,” Adam said as he dug around in his bag again, and pulled out a largish box. He set it in front of the girl, where it made a momentary “thud” sound as it hit the floor.

Radi screamed and backflipped away from it.

“Go on, it won’t hurt you,” Adam said.

“LIES!” Radi shouted, as she eyed the box from behind a chair.

“Coward,” said Fenix.

“BE DAMNED,” Radi said, as she sent both spatulas whizzing at Fenix, which he ducked. Janine “eeped” as they wound up lodged in her ponytail.

Xenos returned, carrying a few neatly-wrapped packages of his own. He set them down on the table, then looked at Janine, then Radi. Janine pulled the spatulas out and handed them to Xenos, her right eye twitching slightly. “Sorry, Jan.”

Radi pointed at the box Adam had set down. “It’s lethal, don’t go near it!”

“So, who’s going first?” asked Xenos.

“Well, you have mine already,” said Nyte.

Xenos picked out a rather sizable box and handed it to Nyte before he picked up Nyte’s gift to him.

“Ooh, nift. Thanks!” Nyte said with a smile, as Xenos tore open his present with great vigor. Inside was a video device, marked with a “J.”

“You’ll want to play that… later,” Nyte said. “If you catch my meaning.”

“Err… thanks,” said Xenos.

“DIRTY MAN,” Radi shouted, before she began to pummel Nyte.

“ACK!” shouted Nyte. “GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!!!!!”

Fenix plucked Radi off of Nyte by the scruff of her neck, while Xenos quietly set the video back in the box, which he then set on the table.

“Whew! Thanks,” said Nyte. “Anyway, I got it from Fenix. Since you seem to be planning to leave soon, anyway, I thought it would help remind you of the good times in The Devil’s Yard.”

“What good times?” Janine asked with a perplexed look.

“The ones you two shared in his Robot Ride.”

“Ooooooh…”

“Hey kiddo, what say I give you your present now?” offered Fenix. “Keep you occupied.”

Radi bared her teeth and made growling noises, while Fenix set her down and presented her with a semi-large box. She scuffled away from the box, wide-eyed. “They’re everywhere!”

Fenix coughed.

“Yeah, anyway,” Xenos said, “now you open yours.”

Nyte went ahead and opened his present, revealing what looked roughly like a standard Digger’s backpack. “Ooooh, nift,” Nyte said happily, to which Xenos chuckled.

“Open that panel on the back,” Xenos said.

Nyte did so, which revealed a series of buttons that looked like they were to be used for maintenance purposes.

“Which one of these opens the garage?” Nyte asked.

One button in particular seemed to beg for a press, and so he tried it. Suddenly, a set of poles shot out of the bottom end of the pack and expanded into a set of glider-wings.

“What do you think?” Xenos asked Nyte with a grin.

“It’s… uh…” Nyte searched for the words, until, “I don’t get it. That in case a curious thief takes it?”

“…it’s a flightpack.”

Nyte’s face lit up. “Ah, I get it! Cool!”

“Made it myself,” the Air Pirate proudly stated.

“Wicked,” said Nyte.

Meanwhile, Fenix told Radi, “Oh, come on, you big whiner! Do you want the free food or not?”

Celeste decided to see if maybe a different approach would work. “Here, Nyte and I thought you might be able to use this.”

“Boxes mean death!” Radi said, displeasure written across her face.

“I get the feeling she never learned how to check for traps in the ruins,” Nyte said.

Radi latched a miniature explosive next to Celeste’s box, and ran behind someone’s chair for cover while it did its dirty work.

Fenix’s eyes widened from inside his helmet, and he ripped the device off and whipped it into the hall. “FIRE IN THE HOLE!”

“NOOOOOOOO!” Radi cried out. “That was going to debilitate it…!”

“That is the most baffling ten seconds of my entire life,” said Nytetrayn.

Xenos looked at Fenix, then at Radi.

“I didn’t want her to blow up Cel’s present,” the masked Digger said, defensively.

“Just open the boxes, Radi. They’re not trapped.”

Celeste decided to help Radi out by opening the box herself. “Do you want me to help you open it, Radi?” she asked, as she pulled the box over.

“Oh fine, if you want me to DIE,” Radi said tearfully.

“They’re not going to…” Xenos started, before collapsing into a huge sigh.

“Oh, come on,” said Fenix. “I wouldn’t kill you with all these witnesses around.” Janine elbowed Fenix none-too-gently in the ribs.

Seeing as how Cel had not been horribly maimed by the box, Radi’s curiosity took over, and she looked in. Within the box was what looked to be a heavy-duty digging helmet.

“It’s a salad bowl!” she exclaimed with amazement in her eyes.

After a moment of speechlessness, Nyte said, “…it’s a helmet. Salad bowls don’t have straps on the bottom.”

“Sure they do,” she replied. “To keep the salad from escaping!”

Celeste found Radi’s comment a little amusing, while Nyte was ready to fall over. “Okay, have it your way,” he said, almost throwing his hands up.

“I always wanted a salad bowl, how did you ever know?” she continued, with tears of joy in her eyes.

“…lucky guess,” said Celeste.

“Next time, I’m just getting her a jack-in-the-box…” Nyte muttered to himself.

Radi took it out of the box and looked it over. “Hey, did you know? This thing could double as a helmet!” She then plopped it on her head.

With Radi now in the gift-giving – or rather, gift-receiving spirit, the rest of the exchanges went a lot more smoothly.

From Xenos, Adam received a Reaverbot eye, Fenix got a Reaverbot-styled sword, green gem earrings went to Janine, and Celeste got some friendly, brightly-colored earrings. Radi gave Celeste a long-armed monkey plushie named Bongo, a plush hippo named Thurgood to Nyte, a scary plush of all the guys mashed into one to Janine, and a leopard-print thong to Fenix.

In return, Radi received a yellow sundress from Janine, various tools in a toolbox from Adam, and a huge box of assorted candies, chocolates, and sweets from Fenix. Xenos got an ornate dagger from Adam, a Dragoon rifle from Fenix, a pillow of herself and a pub gift certificate from Janine, and a ladle from Radi.

Suddenly, Adam looked up. “Shoot, I hate to get here and run off, but I forgot to do something back at my ship. Sorry guys. Merry Christmas.”

After everyone said their farewells to Adam, there was one gift left.

“Go ahead, Cel,” said Nyte. “You’re up.”

“I dunno,” said Celeste, looking around at all the wild and exotic gifts everyone had exchanged.

“Eh?” said Nyte.

“Seems kind of… lame?” Celeste said, as her eyes lowered, embarrassed.

Janine hugged Celeste around the shoulders. “Oh, come now kiddo, I’m sure it’s just–”

“IT’S A SLINGSHOT!” Radi announced, holding up the sundress she’d received from Janine, who just let out a long-suffering sigh. Fenix gave her a reassuring pat on the head.

Xenos straightened and turned to Celeste, seemingly ignorant of Radi’s antics.

“C’mon,” said Nyte. “Go for it.”

“Oh, alright,” she said, as she reluctantly handed over her box to Xenos.

Xenos accepted the gift and smiled, as he opened it up to reveal a nice, though not overly so, picture frame. Two, in fact, both of which were empty. Further down was a camera.

“Ahh… these are really nice, Celeste,” Xenos said.

“Yeah…” Celeste said, still showing embarrassment.

As Xenos pulled out the camera and looked at it, smiling all the while, Celeste explained. “I was sort of thinking, since you’re leaving soon, maybe we could each get a group picture… or something…”

Janine smiled widely and gave Celeste a big hug.

“That’s really sweet,” Xenos said.

“…y’really think so?” Celeste asked.

“Yeah.”

“That’s Cel for ya,” Fenix said with a smile.

Celeste blushed, and Nyte gave her a light pat on the back. “Too bad Adam left before he could be in it… maybe we can catch him before you leave, eh?”

“Most likely,” Fenix said, as Xenos nodded slowly.

“Sorry it’s not something… you know, fancier…”

“Nonsense,” Fenix said, as he mussed up her hair. “It’s the thought that counts.”

“Well, if you say so,” Celeste said, brightening up a bit.

“And it’s a great thought. Right, Radi?” Xenos said, as he glanced over at the candy-gulping machine, as he’d decided he’d ignored the kid for long enough.

“Gnngrh?” Radi responded as her head popped out of the box of candy, seemingly having caramelled her jaws together.

“Shall I fetch a toothbrush?” Fenix asked.

Nyte added, “Maybe a sandbla–”

“I’ve got one!” said a familiar voice.

Sitting among them was Black Steel, who looked none the worse for wear from The Devil’s Yard experience, as he produced a toothbrush from a random crevice somewhere on his person. “A bit dirty, but should do the trick!”

“Oh, happiest of days,” said Nytetrayn. “BS is here to play.”

Everyone stared at the newcomer, as he tried to flick random splotches off the toothbrush. Perhaps Celeste most of all, as she did not even know this strange fellow.

Satisfied by his work, Steel put on a big smile as he held the item up, seemingly aware of the joy the others must have felt at seeing a toothbrush.

“I thought you got eaten by the ruins?” Nytetrayn said.

“Eaten?”

“Eaten, absorbed, possessed, whatever.”

“I didn’t know ruins actually had a digestive tract? Or do you mean that I ate it? I did get a mouthful of dirt…”

Xenos looked at the lunatic Digger. “Hey, I just remembered, I never actually got your name!”

“Poor Steel,” Janine said. “Did the evil floating giant hand anal probe you?”

“Well, yeah, but — I mean NO.”

“Cel, this is BS,” said Nyte. “Try to avoid eye contact.”

“Nice to meet you,” Steel said with a creepily large, yet disturbingly pleasant smile.

“He’s funny,” said Janine, but Fenix looked afraid – at least, as afraid as he could inside his helmet – and Celeste clearly didn’t know what to make of this.

“H-hi…” she said, as she waved slightly.

“HiiiiIIIIIIiiiii!” he replied in an elongated, sing-songy fashion, before a piece of his badly-ruined armor fell off. “Huh, thought I taped that.”

“Is that the one where the kangaroo got you?” Nyte asked.

“No, that one fell off a few miles back!”

“Ouch,” said Xenos.

“Kangaroos!?” Janine said as her eyes widened like saucers. “WHERE!?”

“Nyte!” Fenix said, as he held Jan. “Be careful, lest you scare the poor girl to death!”

“Eep! Sorry!!!” Nyte said, while Janine fearfully muttered about the thumping.

“Sooooooo…” Nytetrayn started. “How’d you happen back thisaways? The Devil’s Yard is a pretty good ways out…”

“…not to mention it was destroyed in a transdimensional black hole,” Fenix added.

“Well, Well, it’s an interesting story,” Steel began, that eerily cheerful smile spread across his face again. “After the hand got me… I don’t remember!”

Nytetrayn slapped his forehead, while Celeste’s jaw hung open, and Fenix just sort of stared.

“It was so funny,” said Janine, stifling her laughter. “Oh, god…”

“SO!” said Nyte, who clearly aimed to change the subject. “Xenos, how are repairs coming?”

“Ship’s about done. Just need to finish up the Kitbots, really.”

Janine looked up from Fenix’s patting. “The WHATbots?!”

“…Kitwhats?” asked Nytetrayn.

“I’m replacing the Helpbots,” Xenos said.

“Thank God,” said a grateful Fenix.

“I decided to make something a bit more versatile.”

“Will these be stronger? Smarter? Faster? Do you have the technology to rebuild?” Nytetrayn asked, while Black Steel helped himself to some tea.

“The million Zenny Kitbots…” Fenix mused.

“I still think it sounds dirty,” said Janine.

“Sounds like an old TV show,” Nyte said.

“Well, it’s better than the other names,” Xenos stated plainly. “‘Catbot’ just sounds dorky, and ‘Kittenbot’ would be too many syllables.”

“Ah-huh,” said Nyte. “Are any of these… ‘Kitbots’ ready? And why cats?”

Steel perked up. “Kitties?”

Xenos shrugged. “Mobility,” he said, and after a moment’s thought, added, “Plus, I’ve been nursing a grudge against Glyde and his Birdbots for a while now. Figure it’s about time I show him up.”

“Ah, I see,” said Nytetrayn.

“Awesome,” said Fenix. “I have heard of this Glyde. By all accounts, he’s a prissy pansy-ass who kidnaps young women.” He turned to Janine and Celeste, he pulled them in and said, “Girls, stay close to me. Very close… no, closer, Cel… theeere we go.”

“I hear he wears a toupee,” said Radi, which made Nyte cackle.

“Prissy and pansy-ass, yes. But his damn Birdbots are a pain in the butt.”

“Glyde?” said Steel.

“You know of him?” asked Nyte.

“Yeah,” he replied with a fierce look. “I certainly do.”

Nyte and the others looked at Steel, listening.

“He…”

The others leaned in.

“He took…”

They leaned in further.

“MY LAST CUP OF TEA!”

They fell over.

“A tragedy,” said Radi, as she nodded solemnly.

“I see…” said Nyte.

“I have sworn vengeance upon him for this!”

Fenix patted the tea-drinking Digger on the shoulder.

“Where is he?” he asked, as a rocket launcher popped up on his shoulder. “Is he HERE?!”

“No,” said Xenos. “At least, I hope not.”

“I feel for you, Steel,” said Fenix. “One day we shall visit vengeance upon all Pirates, and hurt them, and stuff.”

“The damn laughing birds…” Xenos muttered.

“Yes, yes, his birds,” said Steel. “They took my packs of sugar!”

“Sounds like an all-out team effort,” Nyte said. “I bet they robbed the poor guy blind, kettle, cups, and all.”

“Bloody marvelous,” Fenix said, as Steel shed a pained tear for his lost cup.

“Don’t worry,” said Nyte. “I’m sure someday you’ll extract revenge, and then treat it with a teaspoon of sugar.”

Steel wandered out, in search of more tea.

“Guy sure likes his tea,” Nyte said. As he turned back to Xenos, he asked, “So, how long will these new robots take you? And are any made?”

“I’ve got a prototype, but it’s not finished yet.”

As Janine started to nod off, Nyte looked at the time. “Looks like it’s starting to get a little late, we should probably head back to town before dark.”

“Yeah,” said Fenix. “Poor Jan is all tired out from the fun…. and the five-hour marathon we went through last night, hehehehe.”

“Ah, okay.”

“We’ll catch y’later, Xenos. Hopefully we can all get together for Cel’s picture,” he added with a smile.

As the group left, Nyte waved behind him. “Bye, Xenos! Bye, Radi!”

“Bye-bye, smelly,” said Radi.

“Seeya guys,” Xenos waved.

“Bye, Xenos,” said Fenix. “Seeya later, insane munchkin-type person!”

“Wear your thong!” Radi said, as Xenox cringed.

“Oh, we both will,” Fenix cackled.

“What does that mean?” Radi asked with a creeped-out expression.

As Xenos and Radi went back inside, Black Steel wandered back in, a cup in hand.

“He got one for Jan–” Xenos started to explain, when he noticed Steel. “Hello again,” he said, eyes widened.

“HI! I found this outside!” Steel said.

“Ah,” said the flummoxed Xenos.

Steel put the cup to his lips. Suddenly, his eyes went wide, and his pupils dilated. The cup shattered in his hands, and his jaw dropped open. He simply stood there silently, seeming to scream, but there was no sound to be heard from his mouth.

“Uh-oh,” said Xenos.

Steel ‘s eyes suddenly went back into focus, as he held the remnants of the cup in his hand.

“Wow,” said Radi.

Janine reappeared in the open doorway, with the others behind her. “Hey Xenos, I think I left my– oh holy god, what is that?”

Steel finally blinked, and looked around at the others in the room. “W-what the hell…”

“Nytetrayn! Fenix! XENOS?! What the hell?! Where the hell am I?!”

Xenos backed away from Steel, slowly. “You’re… on my ship.”

“Yeah,” said Nytetrayn, uneasily. “You came… seeking… tea.”

“Are you okay?” asked Fenix.

“Last I recall, you were trying to steal an energy crystal from me,” Steel said slowly, as though coming to a realization. “Pirate scum!” With that, he thrusted his right arm out and transformed it into Buster mode.

“Oh, crap,” said Xenos.

“Give it back, or else!”

“As I recall, it sank to the bottom of the sea, because you were such a lunatic about keeping the damn thing!”

Janine grabbed the Buster arm, and lowered it. “Now Steel, there’s no need for violence. We’re all friends here…”

“We are not!” said Radi.

“Quiet, Radi,” said Nyte.

“As I recall, I had it first,” she grumbled.

Steel grabbed Janine’s arm, and flipped her across the room. “Off me, stranger!”

Janine stopped her motion in mid-flip, then maneuvered herself to float upright, as her eyes began to glow a malevolent reddish-orange.

“Hehehehe,” Janine chuckled, as she held out her hand and formed a large energy sword. “Oh, this is going to be fun.”

Steel turned back to Xenos, and shouted, “I’ll never hand anything over to a Pirate!”

“I knew it was only a matter of time for him to wake up,” said Xenos, as he instinctively gripped the handle of his sword.

“You want to apologize for that, or shall I remove your manhood?” Janine asked.

“That dignity has already been taken, woman.” Steel replied. “Come if you like, all of you.”

Nyte turned to Fenix. “I dunno if we should get in the middle here…”

“I’m not getting between Jan and anything, especially not this guy,” Fenix said, as Janine slashed at Steel’s Buster arm.

“…fair,” Nyte was willing to admit. Especially as they were without their gear, which he cursed himself for.

Black Steel slipped back out of range of the slash, and attempted to backfist Janine with the side of his Buster. She raised her hand and caught the blow, though she was pushed back a few inches by the sheer force of it.

Xenos whipped out his pistol and opened fire on Steel, who was able to deflect the shots with the heavily-armored portions of his forearms. He then shifted his feet slightly, prepared for almost anything.

“You know what? This is not the time or place for us to settle this,” Xenos said, while Janine came back up beside Steel and attempted to place her sword at his throat, as she smiled cruelly.

“You don’t have the right to ration my time,” Steel said, as he caught the blade in his armored hand as it neared his neck. “I said BACK OFF!” he shouted, as he shoved her off and opened fire.

“I don’t care about your opinion,” Xenos said, while Janine erected a shield to block the incoming fire.

“You will when I’ve taken your life,” Steel replied.

“There are civilians here!”

As Steel dashed across the room, leading with Buster fire, he shouted back, “Then they best step aside!”

Nyte gestured to Celeste to back away, and stepped back himself.

“Fool,” Janine said, as she focused the energy from the shield between her hands, and cut it loose in a beam of flaming death that was aimed right at Steel’s head.

Steel ceased his dash to duck the blow, and flipped onto his back before kipping up back to his feet.

“You’re worse than I am,” Xenos said with a slight grin.

“NO ONE is worse than a Pirate!”

Xenos straightened himself and smirked.

Janine aimed her hands at Steel, and gathered power between them as she prepared for another assault.

Steel glared at his two foes. “Bring it.”

“I’ve never harmed a civilian or taken a life, except in self-defense. I have always gone out of my way to avoid harming innocents,” Xenos said.

“Bah! Pirates have no regard for life. Speak your lies to those foolish enough to hear them!”

“Don’t talk about someone you know nothing about!” said Janine. “Xenos is a kind and honorable man. You have no right to talk about him!”

“Take your own advice!” Steel shot back. “All I need to know is that he is a pirate. Now, let’s settle this. Which of you will go first? Or is it both at once?”

“I’ll fight you alone,” said Janine. “Xenos, you want to go first? Otherwise, there won’t be a second.”

Nyte whispered to Fenix, “wonder if he has any idea she’s a Reaverbot.”

“Probably not.”

“…though, I don’t know if it’d matter right now.”

“Poor fellow.”

“Kind of ironic that he saw her as his mother last we saw him.”

“I’d prefer not to fight at all,” Xenos said. “Not today, anyway, unless I must.”

“Very well then,” said Janine. “Shall we step outside?”

Black Steel looked about. “Very well,” he said, before he calmly stepped outside.

Janine floated after, flames licking the white fur trim off her Mrs. Claus outfit.

The others went out as well, and Xenos took a thoughtful look at the gun Fenix had given him earlier, before he pocketed it and headed out himself.

Outside, Fenix leaned in to Nyte. “I’m going to run home and grab my large, nasty guns,” he said.

“Um, you sure?”

“I don’t want either of them to get killed, frankly.”

“Good point. Jan’s probably got this, but I guess I’ll stay here, just in case.”

“Right,” said Fenix, as he darted off for their apartment.

“You first, then?” Steel asked, as he stopped and faced Janine. “Come on, make your mo–”

As Steel looked around, he caught a glimpse of Radi, who wore an expression somewhere between miffed and scared. “Radi? I didn’t notice you here. Please, tell me you aren’t part of these pirates?”

“Pirates?” Nyte asked. “Plural?”

“Are you not too part of his band?”

“Iiii’ve been with, uh, them, for a while now,” Radi said.

“No,” said Janine. “We’re his friends.”

“Well…. sorta…” Nyte said. “I mean, we’re friends, but…”

“We’ve saved each other’s lives on several occasions,” Janine said. “He has earned our trust.”

“I’m sure you all have your own reasons, but I can never forgive a Pirate,” Steel said, as he let the Buster drop off his right arm, burnt beyond belief, much like the rest of his armor. “That will leave me at a disadvantage, but I’m prepared otherwise.”

“I don’t care much what your beef with Xenos is,” Janine said, “but you have no respect for innocent bystanders. That is not tolerable.”

“Perhaps I acted impulsively,” Steel said, as a pair of blades extended from his left arm. “But I need not justify myself to the likes of you. Just who the hell ARE you?”

Janine smiled wickedly, as she formed another energy blade.

“I am Janine Athena Jenet, bureaucratic techno-organic model number 619, formerly systems administrator in Eden.”

Steel came in slashing with his blades, to which Janine raised her sword and blocked the attack with little effort.

“But you can call me, ‘The Reaverbot Queen.’”

“Wow, never heard her full name before,” Nyte said. Celeste glanced up at him from her place just slightly behind him, but he kept his attention fully on the battle that was unfolding before them. She just quietly nodded, stunned by this whole turn of events, as she turned her attention back to the fight as well.

Steel’s eyes narrowed. “A Reaverbot, eh? On the surface now? Lovely.” He slipped from one move fluidly into another, and his right leg came up in a sweeping back kick.

Janine formed another energy barrier, and Steel leapt back, as he started to calculate the strength and pressure zones of the energy barrier he faced. “You’re not in my league, kiddo,” Janine said.

Steel then flung something into the air that twinkled in the moonlight, but could not be discerned, then fired off a thin line of energy from the tip of his blades. As he did this, Janine flexed outward with the barrier, which sent a wave of force at Steel, which swept him off his feet and deposited him several feet away, his armor in tatters. However, it didn’t stop the blast from hitting the shimmering object, which deflected the almost unnoticeable beam at Janine. It struck her in the shoulder, forcing her to bite back a scream as it burned her skin.

Nyte winced as Janine took the hit, while Celeste almost unwittingly held on to his arm while watching the fight unfold from behind him.

Steel picked himself up out of the dirt. “You’re good.”

“You’re not bad, yourself,” Janine replied, as she held her wound while her eyes glowed a solid red.

Steel’s chest plate cracked, while Janine raised her hand from the wound and licked the blood off her fingers.

“Mmmm… it’s been a while,” she said. “I’m going to enjoy this.”

“Well? Make your next move,” the manic Digger demanded.

Meanwhile, Xenos was carefully loading the rifle as he watched the battle.

Janine swung her arm, generating an arc of power that scattered into a shower of tiny energy blades, which Steel narrowly avoided the brunt of by inches with a flip. The shot nevertheless nicked his legs, which knocked him out of his spin, and he toppled down onto his face.

Steel slid through the dirt face first, to arrive at Janine’s feet. He looked up at her, smiling painfully.

“Heh. Meant to do that,” he said, as he glowered at her.

Janine looked down at him imperiously, then cracked a smile.

“No,” he said. “Seriously. I did.”

“You know, if you weren’t such a boor, you might be cute.”

Steel held up his hand and dropped a detonator, then quickly rolled away.

Janine glanced down at it, then kicked it right back at him.

“Well, fudge,” Steel said, before being sent flying in a lovely explosion.

Steel stood up, tattered and bleeding, but he still smiled somehow. “I gotta thank you. I’ve never been able to see the colorful display my bombs make before.”

“You’re welcome!” Janine said with a cheerful smile.

“More red than I’d hoped, but hey, we can’t always get what we want,” he said.

At this point, Fenix came running back to the scene, wearing his full suit of armor.

“Okay, I’m back,” he said between huffs and puffs. “How’s it going?”

“It’s kind of back and forth,” Nyte said, “but I think Jan has the edge.”

“My turn,” Steel said.

Janine made a beckoning motion, as she smiled grimly.

Steel ran forward at full speed with his blade leading. At the last second, he dropped like a dead man, appearing wounded.

“What the hell?” Janine said.

Steel slid under her and caught her by the ankle, snapped something to her leg, then pulled her off balance to land beside him. He smiled at her, and showed her a remote.

Janine’s eyes widened as Steel pressed the button. “Oh, SHI–”

Nothing happened.

“…it.”

Steel and Janine looked at each other, stunned. He looked at the remote and pressed the button again, then looked back at her. Still nothing. The bomb was clearly a dud.

Steel’s expression deflated, and he just stretched out and laid there beside her. “Yeah, I’m screwed.”

Janine patted him on the head. “There, there, now. There are worse fates, you know.”

Steel’s eyes widened, as his face turned several shades of red.

Nyte rolled his eyes. Xenos facepalmed. Fenix, after one big gasp of air, collapsed.

“Well, ya gonna kill me now, or what?” Steel asked. “I don’t have enough to move here, so now’d be a good time.”

“Well, here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m going to ask you to apologize for hitting a lady, and shooting her, and strapping a bomb to her leg. If you do, I’ll let you go. If not, I send your ears home to momma.”

“I love it when she talks like that,” Fenix said from his spot on the ground. Nyte couldn’t help but chuckle a little, and Celeste started to relax a little as tensions seemed to be easing.

“Well, ya’d have a little trouble in that,” Steel said with a mix of sadness and sardonicism, “what with no mother to send it to. But hey, maybe Xenos there would like the trophy.”

“I doubt it. He doesn’t collect ears, so far as I know,” Janine replied.

“But… wait…” she continued. “No mother? You poor thing, why… you’re an orphan!” With that, she swept Steel up in a hug, smothering him in her cleavage as his eyes widened.

“I’m going to have a lay-down,” Radi said to no one in particular, then trotted off to do just that.

Steel just sat there, arms limp at his side, while Nyte and Celeste tried to process what was going on.

“I’ll bet you’d love to trade places with him, eh, Cel?” Fenix said, chuckling. She didn’t respond, but Nyte did by giving Fenix a quick, light punch to the arm.

Janine let Steel go, just before he passed out. He dropped back to the ground, gasping for breath.

“Oh, I’ll forgive you this one time. God knows the horrors you’ve seen. I have to go home and shower now, and bandage my laser wound. You and Xenos play nice now, you hear?”

“Y-yeah… s-sure…” he replied, dazed and confused.

“Come on, Fenix, let’s go. I need to relax,” Janine said, as she headed back to the apartment.

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied. He paused by Black Steel, and said, “If you ever shoot her again, I will be forced to disembowel you. Nothing personal, you understand.”

Xenos was left speechless, while Nyte and Celeste turned to follow their friends home.

“Disembowel… that’s lovely…” Steel said, still reeling from everything that had happened.

Xenos quietly tapped his Christmas present from Fenix against his shoulder.

Steel pushed himself off the ground. “That was the most awkward…”

“She’s like that,” the Air Pirate said.

“She was willing to die for you. But she felt mercy for me as soon as she learned something personal about me. How did you come to be in her company?”

“On accident, honestly,” Xenos admitted. “My pilot landed the ship next to their apartment, and when I woke up, they were eating breakfast in my kitchen.”

“I… see…”

“Then, we all decided to go through Hell, just as a fun little excursion.”

Steel sighed. “I can’t help but feel less angry right now.”

Xenos gave Steel an inquiring look.

“She could have killed me, but did not. And she is loyal to you,” Steel said. “Which implies that… you must have some honorable qualities about you.”

Xenos paused. “Strange concept, isn’t it?”

“Very. I want to hate you with every fiber of my being. You’re making my black and white ideals harder to keep in focus.”

Xenos smirked.

Steel continued, “But as I recall you make good tea. Which has to count for something.”

Steel’s chest plate fell off and landed with a heavy thud. Steel wore an expression of utter defeat.

“Want me to fix that up for ya’?” Xenos asked.

“No, I’ll take care of it,” Steel said, as he slung it over his shoulder and walked off into the distance, griping.

And with that, Xenos turned and walked back inside.

To be continued…

—–

Legends of the Halcyon Era is a work of fan fiction set in the world of Mega Man Legends. It is largely adapted from a series of freeform RPG sessions, combining ideas from several contributors, and further fleshed out here in a prose format.

David Oxford, also known as LBD “Nytetrayn,” is a lifelong Mega Man fan who, along with his wife Nadia, has co-written the Mega Man Robot Master Field Guide and Mega Man X Maverick Hunter’s Field Guide from UDON Entertainment, and runs The Mega Man Network (themmnetwork dot com). You can also find him on Twitter @LBD_Nytetrayn and @themmnetwork, and on Twitch and YouTube under the name “Nyteworks.”

You can also find Legends of the Halcyon Era as it updates at Archive of Our Own.

Character designs by LBD “Nytetrayn” and Victor Campan. Character art by Victor Campan. Logos by Tabby Ramsey. Arrangement by LBD “Nytetrayn.”

Thanks for reading!