Legends of the Halcyon Era: The Bartering & Bailing Circus

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Legends of the Halcyon Era

The Bartering & Bailing Circus

by

David Oxford/LBD “Nytetrayn”

*****

Back in town, the Air Pirate known as Xenos Geist covered his head as he and his Digger companion, Fenix, rushed out of one of the buildings, and shouted at his companion, “What were you THINKING?”

“Hey! I told you, I’m a little out of practice! And in some of the places I’ve been, ‘your pants are like a mirror’ is considered very witty conversation!”

“With the mayor’s daughter, though?!”

“I didn’t know he was right there!!!”

“Obviously not! You took his drink right out of his hands!”

“I thought he was a waiter! He was dressed like a waiter!”

“Honestly, the monocle and the bald head didn’t tip you off?!”

“I know a lot of bald guys! And that wasn’t a monocle, I broke his glasses…”

“YOU GOT IN A FIST FIGHT WITH THE MAYOR?!”

“I’m sorry! I got a little surprised when he GRABBED MY ASS!”

“He tripped on that glass you threw on the floor!”

“Hey, I didn’t see anything! I just felt his gimpy old man hands clinging tenaciously to my buttocks!”

“You’re hopeless, Fenix. We’re skipping a few places…”

“…going straight to the lower class girls, eh?”

“Middle class, at least. You might stand a chance there…”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“Just try not to hit their fathers… or ogle their mothers in front of them.”

“Hey, that was not her mother! It was a trophy wife, or I’ll eat Nyte’s hat!”

“She was 90 years old!”

“Dude, I don’t know what sick fetishes you’re involved in, but I was looking at that blonde with the double Ds that whole time. Not a wrinkle on those puppies… which I can confirm thanks to my helmet’s limited X-ray capabilities…”

“Dude, that wasn’t blonde. I know who you were looking at.”

“I say you’re screwed in the head.”

“You’re screwing with your own head! You must have been so mortified when you X-rayed her that you put memories of Jan’s body over hers!”

“Are you going to let it drop, or do I have to pound some sense into you?”

“No, let’s just go.”

“Let’s.”

And with that, Xenos led Fenix to a more “normal” looking bar.

*****

Elsewhere in town, Nytetrayn pulled the mech up to the apartment. “O-kay, everybody out!”

Janine hopped down from her perch on the mech’s shoulder, and hovered to the ground.

Nyte helped Celeste out, where she joined Janine before their rather humble place of residence, and had the mech gently put their stuff down to be brought in. “I’ll pull this thing back around to the back and meet you two inside,” he said, before he got the mech moving again and stomped it around to the back of the apartment, where it sputtered a bit before the refractor’s energy gave out.

“Cool,” Janine said, before grabbing a bunch of the stuff in her arms. Celeste joined her, carrying what few items she could, and they set their stuff down inside. Suddenly, from behind the apartment, a scream was heard coming from Nytetrayn.

“… what the…?” Janine asked. Celeste looked at her with a questioning expression, as Nyte came in the back door.

“Jan…” the Digger said.

“…what?”

“…you wouldn’t know anything about the… stuff… on top of the ride armor, would you?” the Digger asked, looking like he’d developed a tic in one eye. In his hand, he held up an open bottle of gold nail polish.

“Damn, I thought I put the lid on better than that,” she said, as she blushed just slightly.

Nyte winced, and went back outside to hose off the top of the mech.

Janine turned to Celeste. “I’m going to go clean myself up a bit. Will you be okay by yourself, dear?”

“…um, yeah, sure…”

Janine went off to clean up, and Nyte soon returned. He looked around the two-bedroom pad a little bit. “Hmm…” He then proceeded to take his stuff into his “old” room, kicked Fenix’s stuff across the living room space into his, and then stacked Xenos’ boxes neatly to one side in the living room. After a moment’s thought, he put Janine’s stuff in Fenix’s room as well, albeit a little more gently than Fenix’s own, figuring that’s where she stayed last time.

Meanwhile, Celeste just sort of looked around the apartment a little, getting used to her new home. She found a couple of moderately-sized single beds, a couch in front of the TV in the living room, a stove, fridge, and eating area in the kitchen, and indoor plumbing in the bathroom. It was nothing special, but it worked.

Eventually, Janine emerged from the bathroom, toweling her hair dry. Celeste returned to the living room from the kitchen and joined them in the living room as well.

“Nice place,” she said.

“Thanks,” Nyte replied. “It’s not much, but it’s home, for now.”

As Janine looked around, she said, “Question.”

“Hmm?”

“Two beds for five people?”

“Yeah, I was kind of wondering about that myself,” Nyte said.

“Fenix will take the floor, but…”

“I figure you and Fenix have your own arrangement… and I guess Celeste can have my bed. I can take the couch.”

Janine’s mouth twitched, but she refrained from making the obvious joke.

“…unless Long John Silver wants it, I guess,” Nyte added.

“I’m fine wherever,” Janine said.

“Well, like I said, I’ll leave that to you and Fenix, as you’ve already done this before.”

“Okay,” said Janine, as she looked around again. “Where is he, anyway?”

“Got me,” said Nyte, unconcerned.

“Um… I think Xenos said he was taking Fenix to some bars, or something,” Celeste said, “…trying to get him a date…”

“Oh dear,” said Janine, as she put her hands over her face. “That’s not going to end well.”

“You ain’t lyin’. I suppose we’ll be hearing ALL about it later,” said Nytetrayn, “…on the 11 o’clock news.”

Celeste had started putting food away in the kitchen, and was just sort of listening.

“Ten Zenny says they burn someplace down,” Janine said.

“Twenty says we have to get them out of jail.”

“You’re on.”

“Alrighty,” Nyte said with a smile. “I’ll be right back,” he added as he went to his room to get dressed in something more casual than Digging armor: an untucked black button-up shirt, some slightly black shorts, and a pair of black boots. Plus his hat, of course.

While he did that, Janine changed into another of her own more casual outfits.

Janine flopped down on the sofa as Nyte returned to the common area, when the phone started to ring. “I got it,” he said as he picked up the receiver. “‘Yello?”

Fenix’s voice boomed out of the receiver, forcing Nyte to hold it away from his ear for a moment as he winced with one eye. “…STOP YELLING IN MY EAR, XENOS! For God’s sake, I KNOW what the number is and – oh dear god, Nyte, is that you?”

In the background, Xenos could be heard shouting, “In all my years, I’ve cheated, plundered, and otherwise robbed people.. never ONCE have I had to see the inside of a jail cell! But one night with YOU!”

“Look, just be glad you’re sharing the cell with me! Half the convicts in this town would skin you alive and sell your pelt for a cigarette as soon as look at you — Guido! Back off! I can break your neck like a twig and we both know it!”

“I can hold my own in a fist fight,” the Pirate said, as his voice trailed off into indistinct grumbling.

“…yes,” Nyte replied when there was a sufficient pause. “It is me…”

“Um…. yeah, me and Xenos had a little… altercation, and um… we need you to bail us out.”

“…you had WHAT?!”

Celeste looked at Nytetrayn, confused.

“I thought she was single!” Fenix protested. “How do you get someone like THAT and not put a ring on it?!”

“She DID have a ring!” Xenos chimed in from the background. “I TRIED to warn you!”

“She had, like, a ring on every finger!” Fenix yelled behind him. “I think some even had two! That doesn’t count!”

Turning back to the phone, Fenix pleaded, “Nyte, you gotta get me out of here! I’m defenseless! …yes, I have a gun arm, but I can’t use THAT! They’ll send me to jail!”

“But aren’t you already…?”

“Like, ANOTHER jail! One with a penal code! I don’t even know what that is, but you know I don’t want to get anywhere near it!”

Nyte sighed, exasperated. “So, how’d you know to reach us here, anyways?” he asked, as he looked over at Janine, who raised an eyebrow.

“Um, I guessed.”

“ Then again, I guess given the choice between this and the beach…”

“I figured with Jan handling the negotiations, you’d have it back for sure.”

“Good call. How much is bail?”

“Anyhow, there was a bit of property damage… the bar’s still on fire…”

Nyte winced as he heard the bit about the fire.

“I’m sure bail won’t be more than…. um, I think he said something about five hundred…”

“…five-HUNDRED?!” Nyte yelled, earning a raised eyebrow from Celeste.

“Look, it’s not my fault the bar wasn’t up to modern fire safety standards…”

“…shut up.”

“I mean, dear god, one plasma blast, and the whole place lit up like a roman candle

“We’ll be there as soon as we can get the money.”

“…just don’t tell me how.”

“So you two just keep your pants on, and we’ll be there ASAP. Later.”

“…my PANTS?!” Fenix yelped as Nyte hung up. “Assmunch,” he said, as he put the receiver back and sat down across from Xenos, glaring at the various scum who loitered in the holding tank.

Nytetrayn looked at Janine. “You owe me 20.”

“Damn,” she said, as she pulled 20 Zenny from her cleavage.

“Then another 480, and we can bail them out.”

“What about that stuff we got from the Lovecraft ruin? That bigass sword and whatnot?”

“Hmm… maybe,” Nytetrayn said. “Might as well. I know a place… let’s go.”

With that, Nytetrayn packed up a bunch of loot they found in the ruins, and with Janine and Celeste in tow, headed down to the junk shop to trade it in for bail money..

As they entered the junk shop, Janine said, “I have GOT to see those two locked up together… They’ll kill each other before we get there, of course…”

Lance looked up from what he was doing as the door jingled open. “Ah, heya, Nyte.”

“Heya Lance, what’s up?”

“Same old, same old…”

“I hear that. Fenix’s in jail again…”

Janine spoke up, surprised. “…he’s been there before?”

“…and I was hoping to be able to trade some stuff we just got for money to bail him out,” Nyte said. Turning to Janine, he told her, “Trust me, you don’t want to know.”

Elsewhere, Fenix sneezed.

“Well,” Lance said, “let’s see what you’ve got…”

Nyte put what he had on the counter, and Lance looked the items over. “Hmm, not one of your better trips, was it?”

“Well, we did get a bigass refractor,” Janine said, “but someone gave it away…”

Nyte coughed, while Celeste just sort of lowered her head.

“…not that I’m blaming you, but you could at least have ASKED… I got all the skin ripped off my arm for that thing!”

Celeste just sort of looked guilty.

“Anyway,” Nyte said, “I dunno about all that, we got some good weapons here. Check out the laser.”

“Hmm… doesn’t seem to be working,” Lance said. “I’ll give you fifty for it. For parts.”

“WHAT?!? Do you have ANY idea how much ass that thing kicks?”

Lance aimed the laser at Nyte’s head and pulled the trigger.

Janine, Celeste, and Nyte’s eyes all widened as he did so, but nothing happened. After a silent moment, Lance said, “See? Nothing.”

Janine faked a heart attack.

“…give you fifty.”

Nyte sighed. “Deal.” As he looked over the other items they picked up in the ruin, inspiration struck.

“Wait a minute, I’ve got an idea… Jan, how long would it take for you to fly to Xenos’s ship?”

“Um…. five minutes? Why?”

“Can you drive?”

“I… guess? I saw Fenix do it.”

Nyte turned back to Lance. “Do you need a car?”

Janine raised an eyebrow.

“Well… I suppose I could find a use for it, one way or another…”

Nyte turned to face Janine again. “Go to the ship, and if you can’t find any of the Zenny we got from the ruin, get one of Xenos’ cars. He has a whole garage-full, right?”

“I… guess…” Janine said, as she shrugged and flew off towards the crash site.

“AND BE CAREFUL WITH IT!” Nyte yelled out the junk shop door after her.

About 20 minutes later, Janine arrived back at the shop behind the wheel of one of Xenos’ many vehicles. The car looked classy, like it was some sort of polished-up vintage model. Janine looked freaked out of her mind.

“Ah, perfect,” Nyte said.

“…I never want to do this again,” said Janine.

“How much can we get for this?” Nyte asked Lance.

“Hmm… how’s 500 Zenny sound?”

“2000.”

“1000.”

“1700.”

Janine beckoned Nyte with her finger.

“Hmm?”

“Should I throw in a ‘special’ bonus?”

Nyte thought on it for a second, and despite not knowing what that was, exactly, shrugged and nodded. “Why not?”

Fluttering her eyelashes, Janine told Lance, “I can make it worth your while…”

Lance paused for a moment, before saying, “Deal.” He forked over the cash, and headed around back with Janine.

About ten minutes later, Janine returned, looking smug. Nyte was leaning against a wall, everything back in his knapsack, waiting with Celeste.

“Ready, Jan?”

“Yep! Let’s go.”

“A quick drop-off at home with this stuff, and we’re off to jail!”

“…yay.”

As the group departed, Lance returned to his seat behind the counter, looking a bit flustered.

When they arrived back at the apartment, Nytetrayn dropped off the stuff in the living room, and checked to see if they had any messages.

Following a beep, Fenix’s voice came from the machine. “Nyte, get down here, fast! They’re going after Xenos! I’ll try to do what I can, hurry up! I don’t know how much longer we can hold ou–” And with that, a clicking sound ended the call.

Nyte and Celeste wore mirroring expressions of bewilderment. “Yummy,” Janine said.

“Okay, ladies, there are two ways we can go about this,” Nyte said, as he addressed his roommates. “The express way – about five minutes at a brisk pace – or the scenic way.”

“…how scenic?” asked Janine.

“Depends on how long you look, I guess,” Nyte said with a shrug. “Might see something.”

“That works for me.”

Celeste, still trying to get a feel for how things were done around here, just shrugged and sighed and went along with the others. “You think they’ll be alright?”

“C’mon,” said Nyte. “We just went through The Devil’s Yard together and survived a shipwreck, how bad can a little jail time be?”

“Oh, I’m sure they’ll be fine,” Janine said. “A little male bonding is only as traumatizing as you let it be.”

Nytetrayn nodded and opened the door for the ladies. Janine put a comradely arm around Celeste, who wasn’t quite sure what to make of the gesture, and they followed wherever Nyte led.

Almost an hour later, they arrive at the jail house. It seemed oddly quiet.

“Here we are,” Nyte said.

“Cheery,” said Jan.

“Hmm, seems oddly quiet here… especially given all the noise I heard earlier.” Nyte shrugged. “Oh well,” he said as he headed on in, holding the door open as Janine and Celeste passed through. A chorus of lewd catcalls immediately greeted the two girls.

“’EY!” Nyte shouted. “Back off!”

Janine fired a few energy bolts from her fingertips in their general direction, and they quieted down.

“…that works, too.”

Nyte led the way up to the desk, where he rang a bell. Within moments, a fat, slobbish desk sergeant heeded the call.

The name tag read “Sgt. Snorkel,” and he greeted the visitors with a curt, “Yeah? Whaddya want?”

“Hello,” said Nytetrayn. “We’re here to bail out a couple of your… patrons.”

“Okay…. which ones?”

“The two armored nuts, one with a cape. About yea-high,” Nyte said as he held his hand at arm’s length over his head, “…for the caped one.”

“The guys that set fire to the Fourth Street bar?”

Nyte smacked his forehead. “Um… yeah,” he sighed.

“Hey!” Janine shouted. “You owe me ten Zenny!”

“Well, I don’t know WHICH bar they set on fire, but…” he started, but soon gave up. “Fine, fine…” he said, as he handed over the ten Zenny he owed her, and she slipped it into her cleavage.

“Yeah,” Snorkel said, “bail comes to five-hundred twenty-six…. you got it on ya?”

“…526?! That sonofa… yeah, I have it. Have change for 530?” Nyte asked, as he handed over the money.

“Sure, sure…. here ya go,” Snorkel said, as he gave Nyte back his change. “They’re in cell number 69.”

After a moment of silence, Janine suppressed a giggle, while Nyte just fell over laughing. Celeste laughed a little herself, though she tried to suppress it.

“Nice,” Nyte said, as he got up. “They will NEVER hear the end of THIS!”

“Probably not,” Janine agreed with a wide smile.

The group followed Snorkel to the cell, Nyte quietly hoping that the sergeant would make a big verbal deal about their release.

Fenix sat in one corner, wrapped up in his cloak, looking at the floor and growling incessantly. Xenos was on the top bunk, lost in space.

“So!” said Nyte. “Who’s the six, and who’s the nine?”

“Of all the cells…” Xenos grumbled.

“AWRIGHT,” said Snorkel in a booming voice. “Let’s see here… this here’s the key for number 60… 65…. ah, here it is, CELL SIXTY-NINE…”

Deep inside, Nyte celebrated.

Nyte and Celeste sood to the side so the inmates would have room to exit, with Janine floating somewhere in the back.

Fenix rose to his feet and walked out, glaring balefully at the three. “…if you ever mention this again,” he said, “I swear, I will render you incapable of having children.” Xenos hopped down and followed quietly, as though in a trance.

Nyte chuckled, and Celeste giggled a little, while Janine smirked.

“Ah, don’t be so pissy, you got those other guys offa ya’ before they had a chance to do anything…” Snorkel said, adding, “…you understand we aren’t responsible for the damage to your pants…”

“SHUT UP!” Fenix said, wincing.

Nyte struggled to resist laughing.

“Just be glad Charlie doesn’t have grounds to sue ya for biting his nose off.”

Nyte and Cel wore matching freaked out expressions, while Fenix trembled visibly, made a few hacking noises, and walked off.

“…I don’t want to know,” Janine said.

“…all of a sudden, I never want to think of this incident again, and Fenix’s threat had nothing to do with it,” Nyte added. Celeste just nodded in agreement.

“He was in a bad spot,” Snorkel said. “They were outnumbered six to one… didn’t have much of a choice there.”

Snorkel led the group back to the front, but as they passed the cell next to the one Fenix and Xenos had been kept in, a hand snaked out from between the bars and gave Celeste’s left bun a firm squeeze.

“EEK!” she shouted.

But before anything more than Janine shouting “What the?!” could happen, Nyte had reached his arm into the cell and grabbed the guy by the collar, yanking him face-first into the cell’s bars, promptly making him go unconscious. Nyte just let go of his now-limp form and watched him drop to the floor, his face now bloodied and broken in a few places.

“…eww,” Nyte said after seeing what he’d grabbed, as he shook his hand as if to get something off.

Celese looked on, stunned.

“Nice reflexes,” Fenix noted.

“Thanks,” Nyte said, before muttering about the “Lousy sonofa…”

Fenix chuckled to himself as he continued on his way.

“T-thanks…” Celeste said, while Janine smiled bemusedly and floated off after Fenix and Xenos. Nyte followed, keeping himself between Celeste and the cells.

That is, until a hand snaked out and gave Nyte’s left bun a firm squeeze.

“…oh, THAT DOES IT!” Nyte said, lunging at the bars, ready to rip someone into pieces. As he tried – and looked like he might succeed – to rip the bars out, the grabby inmate made a hasty retreat to the other side of the cell.

Janine picked Nyte up by the scruff of the neck.

“…hey!” he shouted.

“Stop scaring the inmates. Come on, let’s go home.”

Nyte muttered something best not repeated as he and Celeste followed, with her keeping her distance from the cells.

As they met up with the others outside, Nytetrayn exhaled heavily. “Glad that’s done and over.”

“YOU’RE glad it’s over…?” said Fenix.

“Yes,” Nyte replied. “By the way, I had to sell your magazine collection to cover bail.”

“…you sold my gun enthusiast magazines?”

“No, the other ones… though I might’ve slipped one or two of those in as well,” Nyte said, as he tried to mess with Fenix.

“I’d punch you in the face if I wasn’t just glad to be out of there now.”

Nyte just grinned.

“Anyways, how about we go get something to eat? I’m starving!”

“That would be nice, but first I would like to get some pants,” Fenix said.

“Alright, back to the apartment first,” Nytetrayn said, as he led the way. Unseen by the rest of the group, however, was the devious smile that crept across his face.

In his best Homer Simpson impersonation, Nyte shouted so that Fenix and Xenos could hear, “Zookeeper, zookeeper! Those two monkeys are killing each other!”

Fenix leveled his Gatling Arm at Nyte’s head. “THAT’S IT!” he shouted.

Nyte leaped away from Fenix, dodging the shots as the older Digger aimed for his feet. Nyte took off running for home, laughing all the way as Fenix gave chase, cursing and shooting all the way.

To be continued…

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Legends of the Halcyon Era is a work of fan fiction set in the world of Mega Man Legends. It is largely adapted from a series of freeform RPG sessions, combining ideas from several contributors, and further fleshed out here in a prose format.

David Oxford, also known as LBD “Nytetrayn,” is a lifelong Mega Man fan who, along with his wife Nadia, has co-written the Mega Man Robot Master Field Guide and Mega Man X Maverick Hunter’s Field Guide from UDON Entertainment, and runs The Mega Man Network (themmnetwork dot com). You can also find him on Twitter @LBD_Nytetrayn and @themmnetwork, and on Twitch and YouTube under the name “Nyteworks.”

You can also find Legends of the Halcyon Era as it updates at Archive of Our Own.

Thanks for reading! And if you like what we’re doing here, please consider supporting us through Patreon or Ko-Fi!